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If This Is The Life

Going Down

habis gelap terbitlah terang

merasa pagi itu lebih baik daripada malam? kebanyakan orang merasa begitu, apalagi ketika mereka sedang dilanda masalah. ketika pagi, entah mengapa, segala sesuatunya terasa lebih baik. tanpa harus melakukan apa-apa. kecuali tidur. biasanya masalah-masalah itu memuncak ketika malem hari. karena mereka beraktivitas dan sudah terkuras tenaganya. sehingga ketika malam tiba dan masalah belum terselesaikan, akan menjadi lebih runyam karena sudah lelah dan hanya menggunakan emosi.

lalu bagaimana melewati malam itu? jika lelah, pasti hal pertama yang ingin mereka lakukan adalah tidur. tetapi bagaimana cara tertidur dengan lelap apabila masalah mereka masih menempel dikepala? memang tidak mudah melupakan masalah begitu saja. masalah yang membuat resah dan gelisah. pikirkan saja bahwa esok hari akan menjadi lebih baik. bahwa masalah itu akan dapat terselesaikan besok. ketika otak kita sudah beristirahat, tidak menggunakan emosi dan cukup dengan logika.

i'm going home

rumah. pada umumnya diartikan sebagai bangunan yang sengaja dibangun oleh manusia untuk dijadikan tempat tinggal. manusia selalu berpikir bahwa rumah adalah tempat ternyaman dan teraman. dan memang sudah seharusnya begitu karena itu adalah tempat tinggal, tempat dimana kita bisa melakukan segala aktivitas. tempat dimana kita mendapat yang terbaik dari tempat lain. baik jasmani maupun rohani.

dalam satu rumah biasanya dihuni oleh suatu keluarga inti. yang merupakan orang-orang yang kita utamakan dari orang lain. mereka adalah orang yang akan selalu ada dalam situasi apapun. tidak ada memandang kita dari sudut manapun kecuali dari sudut pandang orang terdekat yang akan menerima kita apa adanya. karena mereka adalah orang-orang yang ditakdirkan untuk hidup berdampingan dengan kita.

sebagai anak, lambat laun kita akan berkembang dan menemukan orang-orang yang kita rasa lebih cocok dengan pribadi kita. kita merasa lebih nyaman dalam lingkungan tersebut hingga terkadang melupakan keluarga dan rumah kita sendiri. lalu muncul lah sebuah pertanyaan, apakan salah jika kita merasa nyaman dan aman ditempat lain daripada rumah kita sendiri?

jawaban-jawaban itu akan berbeda dari setiap individunya, ada yang merasa demikian ada juga yang merasa rumah tetap merupakan tempat tinggal mereka. dan tidak ada yang dapat disalahkan, semua adalah pilihan masing-masing. pasti setiap orang memiliki alasan sendiri mengapa mereka merasa seperti itu. bukan salah keluarga ataupun orang tersebut, lagi-lagi semua adalah pilihan dan apa yang dirasakan.

jika ada orang yang mengatakan mereka ingin keluar dari rumah mereka, terkadang itu hanya dikeluarkan pada saat emosi atau bahkan tidak berpikir panjang. dan terkadang mereka ingin mencoba hal-hal baru dan mencari pengalaman yang tidak didapat dari rumah. mereka ingin merasakan kebebasan dan perbedaan dari aturan-aturan yang mereka ikuti dari dalam rumah.

tetapi satu hal yang pasti, kita akan selalu kembali ke rumah kita. walaupun hanya untuk sementara, kita pasti akan kembali kerumah. karena rumah dan keluarga lah yang membentuk kita. keluarga lah yang secara tidak langsung memberi inspirasi kita untuk bertindak diluar sana. setidak harmonis apapun keluarga tersebut, kita pasti akan kembali dan mencari mereka kembali. sebesar apapun keinginan kita untuk tinggal diluar rumah, suatu hari kita akan pulang. dan kembali merasa aman dan nyaman.

karena pada dasarnya, tempat itulah yang sudah diatur oleh Tuhan sebagai rumah. dan sudah seharusnya, kita pulang.

smother me

smother me by safirraaaaa m

Neneng, Just a Place to Rest

I just read a book about women in prison. It really touch me. Here is one of the story about a woman that stays in prison. Just for a simple reason, she needs a place to rest.

You want to know my life story, Ma? There isn't much to tell. I can still remember leaving my village for the city with my old granny. I was just a baby when the drought came and the crops failed. My Mum and Dad both die of hunger. I don't really remember them well. But Granny and I survived and she always told me that no matter how little food there was, Mum and Dad always gave their own to share with me.

Granny and I first moved to a small town near the sugar factory in the area where I'm from. There's a train line there, and we used to run and beg for food. when a train went by. One day my little brother, Ujang, got crushed to death in an accident outside the loading station. Granny cried and cried but, in a way, it was a relief too. It was just too hard for her to look after two children alone.

I remember her hugging me and telling me that if we didn't go to the city, we'd starve to death. The next day, she took my hand and, without saying a word, set off. All of our belongings - just a bag of ragged clothes is all - she gripped under her other arm.

Most of the time we walked. We weren't the only ones on the road. There were lots of others in the same situation. None of us knew what to do; we just knew that if we stayed where we were we'd die of hunger. We walked and walked; sometimes we stopped and slept under a tree. If we passed a market, by the side of the road, we'd stop and looked for scraps of food to eat, but usually we got by in nothing. Some how we finally made it to Jakarta.

The city seemed huge and so full of people. The building were all so big and tall. But Granny and I were so worn out we could barely stand up. We sprawled down next to some other people, in front of a shop. In the middle of the night, we were shaken awake by cries of, "Raid! Hey, a raid!" I didn't even know the meaning of the word but everyone there scrammed, running down the alleyways to get as far away as possible from the shops on the main street. Those who weren't fast enough were thrown into trucks. A man was shouting at the people they picked up and calling them filthy animals. I guess you weren't allowed to sleep outside the shops on the main street.

Granny and I hid deep inside a drainpipe next to a river. The smell was enough to make you gag, but we were save from the men in trucks. I heard people outside talking about "anti-vagrancy-operation." The men with trucks were rounding up everyone who didn't have an identity card. I couldn't understand what we'd done wrong. It wasn't our fault that we didn't have anywhere to sleep. I just didn't understand.

We had to work hard to survive. We scrounged through rubbish bins, looking for anything we could find: scraps for rice, paper and old bottles, Granny told me to look for cigarettes butts. In a few days, I became an expert. There were people in the street who bought the cigarettes butts for the tobacco in them. I learnt to survive by watching  what the other kids did. We went to the market a lot. There were always scraps there, and sometimes we made money by carrying ladies shopping bags.

And that was how I live. By day, I scrounged for food. At night I slept with Granny, wherever we could find a place, wherever we'd be left alone. When Granny got sick, we stayed for a little while underneath a bridge. Luckily the water didn't come up too high, and Granny could beg from the people going past under the bridge.

One night, after Granny began to get better and was well enough to the help the forage through the rubbish bins, we found a place to sleep in a shop-front doorway. There was another raid, and this time we got caught. There was lot of us and we were beaten and pushed into a truck. I looked around and everyone looked scared. We didn't know where we were being taken, of what the man driving the trucks were going to do to us.

We were just ordinary country people trying to survive. All we wanted was something to eat and a place to rest. Where were we supposed to go? I didn't know, and neither did granny. It didn't seem we could do anything right.

We were taken to a large building and herder inside. We were thrown into a long room, and the door slammed shut behind us. I heard a key turing in the lock. Someone said something about being processed in the morning.

That night I heard kids sobbing and crying in the dark. I felt so tired, but at least the floor was clean and I could rest until the next day. Here, in this place, I don't have to worry that somebody is suddenly going to wake us up, and that we're going to have to run and hide again. At least that's good.

New Year

December. it's identical with welcoming new year. and new year = make a new resolution. my question is, why is that so? people used to make new resolution to make their life more worth to live. why should wait until next year? why not this year? this month? today? RIGHT NOW? some people are not ready to do their resolution, so they wait until (at least) next year. hoping that next year they will be ready. will this way work? maybe yes, maybe no. I prefer to do it "right now". at the day i'm thinking about those resolution. if i'm not ready, i won't make it a target, like i should do it next year or so. i'm pretty sure i'll do it if i'm ready. even i don't even know when. hehehehe.

What happen if they fail to do their resolution? they'll do it the next year, it happen oftenly, over and over again. as i see, it means they didn't consider it seriously. they don't look it as a target, just as a list of sentences they write (or think) to "fill" the celebration of welcoming a new year.

Again, talk about new year. why do people celebrate new year? it's just another year. that'll pass you by. every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every minute and every second. it's all worth to celebrate. i'm not going to be a hypocrite by saying that i don't do new year's celebration. but i'm just asking why?

Is it worth just to spend a lot of money, just to welcoming a new year? when it's your birth day, it is, you become a year older, a year closer to your death. anniversary? it's OK. your celebrating your relationship you've built with your beloved. a new year doesn't make a new you, just a better you. if only you did your resolution.All i'm asking, is it 'that' special?

UTS(?)

Hmm. harusnya hal yang sedang gue lakukan adalah belajar karena besok gue UTS public speaking dan bahasa Indonsia tapi gatau kenapa ko maleeeeeeessssss banget nget nget. gue takut takabur juga sih ga belajar hahaha. Saking setres nya (walaupun tetep ga belajar) gue sama Odink malah bikin-bikin video clip gitu dari lagunya Dewi Persik dan Glen Fredly sampe Mba Brit haduh kacau deh. tapi lumayan bikin ga tegang-tegang amat.

Rencananya gue mau ke Sansiro (kos-an Congkie, Ketoy dkk) mau latian, dan gue udah cape-cape mandiiii, jeng jeng, tiba-tiba si Congkie sms dia besok ada exam jadi latiannya besok-besok aja. (wtf) yaudah gue mencoba buat sabar. akhirnya gue nemenin Odink ke CT Trans ngambil titipan dari nyokapnya di Norman. abis darisana gue makan bertiga, dan tiba-tiba si Risyad nyusul. dan karena hujan deras dan petir-petir menyambar (lebay), gue gagal lagi mau ngecilin celana, dan bingung pulang naik apa. akhirnya kita bertemu dengan teman setia, si Gema (taxi gemah ripah). wah senangnya.

Lagi-lagi hari ini ga ada kejadian yang "duarr" huhu. kayaknya hari-hari gue di Bandung tambah kering gatau kenapa.

Gue bener-bener ga bisa konsen belajar nih. udah kelamaan ga ngerasain ulangan kali ya. terus juga terlalu menganggap remeh. aduh pusing.

Seneng deh akhir-akhir ini gue ga ngeluarin uang banyak, makin kesini gue makin ngerasain derita anak kos. dari yang harus beres-beres sendiri, ngatur uang sendiri, kalo laper masak sendiri, ga teraturnya jam makan, mau kemana-mana sendiri. tapi gue merasa gue udah agak-agak lumayan mandiri. dih dulu mana mau gue repot-repot beres-beres kamar apa lagi masak. ga deh ya, no thanks.

Oya, malem minggu kemaren kan gue pergi ke suatu tempat, disana gue kenalan sama orang (yang menurut gue menarik) haha jadi ya intinya dia lucu hahahaha terus temennya juga ada yang kenalan sama temen gue (maaf ga bisa sebut nama) jadi sama=sama sepaket gitu kenalannya. haha. lucunya.

Sekarang gue sama Odink lagi luntang-lantung ngga tau mau ngapain, sebenernya tau sih harus ngapain, harus belajar, tapi gatau kenapa rasa males gue lebih besar daripada rasa ingin belajar gue. hehe. alhasil setelah membuat beberapa video sampah, gue sama Odink akhirnya sibuk dengan laptop masing-masing. barusan juga dia abis post di blog dia. 

Nah sekarang, gue mau tidur aja biar besok ga ngantuk. takutnya pas gue lagi ngerjain UTS malah ketiduran kaya kemaren-kemaren pas gue lagu kuliah dan nyatet tulisan gue udah ga kebaca deh. okeoke, goodluck ya buat yang UTS besok! FIKOM FIKOM FIKOM!